Big Heart

So today when I picked my minions up from school I go through the whole "how was your day" questions.  Madi had a great day . . . they had popcorn, watched a movie & got 2 cupcakes because it was 2 people's birthdays.  Boston said good and then was super quiet.  The last time he was quiet like that he had gotten in trouble, so I said Boston, did something happen at school today?  He just started crying.  Oh no, something serious happened!  It took him four blocks to pull himself together.  I had asked did he get in trouble, did he hit someone, did someone hit him, did he yell at someone, did someone yell at him, all his answers were "no".  After he pulled himself together he told me that Ms. Spear left today.  She was the student teacher in his class this semester.  Poor little guy was upset that his student teacher was leaving.  I asked him what he was going to do on the last day of school and he didn't answer me.

Blessed

So every now & then I throw myself a little pity party.  Not often, but every now & then I feel I deserve it.  There always seems to be something that puts me back in my place.  I sometimes get upset at how much time DJ spends at work.  More so for the kids than myself.  DJ does take the kids to school almost every day so they do get a little daddy time and he picks them up once or twice a week, so that helps too.  He is not invisible or non-existent, just working hard so they can have and do whatever they want.  In this past month I have worked more than I have in the 2 months before combined and DJ has been working a lot as well, I was starting to feel VERY guilty about the amount of time we had been away from the kids, but a break is coming soon and we both know that.... to my point...

DJ & I were both able to go on Madi's field trip with her on Wednesday.  We went to Crown Center to see James & The Giant Peach.  While we were there we were "in charge" of 3 girls (including Madi) and 4 boys.  DJ kept track of the boys & ate lunch with one of them while I kept track of the girls.  On our way home while Madi was sleeping DJ told me "Um, so that's the 2nd time I've felt incredibly awkward"  I looked at him like he was crazy because I couldn't figure out a reason that he would have felt awkward at all the entire day, then he goes on to tell me that twice now a little boy has told him "I wish you were my dad".  The first time was on Boston's field trip (he hadn't told me about that time) and now while he was having lunch with a little boy during Madi's field trip.  He said "What do you say to that?" I told him I didn't know.  I can't imagine.

I feel a little less guilty about how much time we're away - our kids love us & know that we love them with everything we have.  When we're not with them we make sure that someone who loves them, is, so I guess instead of throwing a pity party for the time we're not with them, I should be feeling blessed to know that they love us no matter how much we work and know that they are loved by us unconditionally!